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Review: Planet Of The Apes
by snafu, 2001-08-08 22:35:29. No #791.

Monkey Magic it is not ...
Whilst exiting the theatre I heard nothing but complaints from the horde of trenchcoat wearing geeks I'd just spent 2 hours with. "The storyline was crap", "The original movie is far superior", but they can go to hell. I was entertained by POTA, it's not exactly a masterpeice of literature, but it is a remake after all. When compared to other remakes [lost in space anyone?] POTA comes out on top.

In respect for the movie, I won't give much away, there's so many cool little touches that are best left seen with your own eyes. Flaming monkeys, Gorillas with machetes, super human strength and agility, its all good in this reporters view. The make up is boss, the acting is a little strained under all that latex but I was suprised how well the faces deformed. The characters are cool, they use ape-ish mannerisms and bounce around like apes should. Charlton Heston makes an appearance as an ape and trust me, anyone who has seen the original POTA will pick him out regardless of his make-up.

Bad points? Well the plot has the tendency to be a tad predictable, but like I said before, it is a remake, what do you expect? I'm sure POTA won't live up to some people's expectations, but I found it genuinely entertaining none the less. Planet of the Apes gets four aqua tachos from me.

[ more info here ]

Comment by egg at 2001-08-09 13:32:33
dude are the famouse lines 'get yr stinking paws ...' and 'you blew it up ...' in it?

Comment by TRIPtych at 2001-08-09 16:05:38
Yeh it was a pretty good movie, I didnt have any great expectations of it, thought it was going to be pretty crap, but I was rather suprised and I enjoyed it alot. =)

Comment by BigDave at 2001-08-10 18:16:25
Nemisis Sux

Comment by The Ghost of Big Dave's Past at 2001-08-11 04:19:00
Dear FUHRER!,

Will please forgive all I have said and done and join Raining Blood? I need you desperately in my clan. Whats so good about Clan Nemesis? They are nothing but a bunch of slack jawed hicks while you are class embodied. Please join Raining Blood and we will rule OzWL side by side.

Big Dave

Comment by egg at 2001-08-11 21:54:12
this was a crap fucking move - even tho we were warned, it still sucked. the onyl good thing was the nicely tied up storyline, which was ruined by the WORST ENDING EVAR EVAR EVAR.

its better to regret something you have done, than to regret something you haven't done, and I regret seeing this pile of crap.

and when you see your mom this weekend, be sure to tell her ... SATAN!!!!!1

Comment by Raven at 2001-08-11 22:42:01
yawn.

Comment by snafu at 2001-08-12 15:57:42
C'mon man, giant gorillas with machettes! How cool was the engine firing bit, BOOOM!!!! thump thump thump

Comment by Frenz at 2001-08-12 18:27:12
what u gotta realise snaf is dat egg has quoted butthole surfers. Which means he is correct. This movie is crap crap crap.
And im soiled
soil me

Comment by snafu at 2001-08-13 12:16:05
it's been a while between lighter dances frenz, i don't think egg's ever seen one. Any chance you could come out of retirement for another performance?
We just need some 94NJ4

Comment by egg at 2001-08-13 14:46:05
boof==owned! don't change the subject boy - it's as good as admitting defeat. your POTA movie was crap crap crap. tim burton is now down there with spielberg and kubrick.

Thread closed.

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